I don’t know how old I was when I started suffering from depression and anxiety. Maybe 15 or 16. All I know is that I went through an extreme personality change and for the past 8 or so years I have been trying to find myself again. I went from being outgoing and social to being shy and scared of what everyone thought about me. I started becoming so reliant on my friends approvals that I began pushing them away. I also started to get sick a lot and my relationship with food was unhealthy to say the least. All of these changes were so sudden that before I knew it, it had become my new reality. I have always struggled to tell people exactly what I am feeling because I was so scared of being judged. I felt so alone that when I did have a friend I wore a mask so that I didn’t push them away like I have in the past. I have always gone above and beyond to be there whenever someone I care for is having a hard time but I have never put the same compassion into getting myself better. I don’t like who I am and I know this isn’t who I should be. I am working with 3 different doctors to get my health back on track as well as making some big life changes such as moving across the country to live with my mum. I want this blog to give hope to those that are suffering and hopefully show them that they are not alone in the way they feel. But also I want to track my process, already just by writing this I feel a sense of hope, so who knows… Maybe this could finally be my time. We will have to wait and see.